This morning Mr. Worm had a meeting with the learning committee (including teacher, principal, counselor, school nurse, child developer, and child psychologist) at the kids’ school, in lieu of concerns for Angela’s progress/regress in reading and conversational English. Her teacher, Ms. L, was highly concerned about whether Angela would be able to catch up quickly enough pass the end of the year tests and move on the the first grade, particularly because she had already missed 25% of the school year thus far.* Instead of progressing with her other classmates, she is in fact regressing. Ms. L also brought up the concerns with the family situation, forcing Mr. Worm to share with the committee the separation/divorce situation with HTL (I must admit that I silently snickered when I saw him fumbling for words, only because I’ve always had a problem with Mr. Worm not being able to come to concrete terms with anyone around him – not even with the kids – with due honesty and realisticality about the situation. So forcing him to say it out loud to strangers was for me a kind of justice done.), saying that Angela is very solemn and sad that mommy isn’t here anymore, thus adding a psychological and mental element to her regress. And particularly because Angela is a very shy and quiet girl (at least, outside of home) and doesn’t speak much, it becomes all the more difficult for Ms. L to assess her English conversational abilities. Ms. L then shared with us that she is thinking about retention, which is not a bad idea, especially since Angela is a July baby, so she can go either way.** But Joanne, the principal (a lovely and pleasant lady) was a bit hesitant, noting that Angela is in fact a very bright girl, about retention until later in the year. So in the end, they decided to convene again before the end of the school year and see how she does before making any decisions.
Personally, while I think all of Ms. L’s concerns and comments are valid, I do believe that she dramatises the situation a bit. I don’t think that Angela is solemn at all, though I know for a fact that of course she misses her mother. At that age, who wouldn’t? But I think that by now, both she and her brother are adjusting well.*** As far as regression in academics, I would have to say that I agree. She even has problems writing out the full alphabet by herself in lower and upper case, something that she should be familiar with, especially now that they are working with spelling and frequently used words like “the”, “them”, “all”, et cetera. Conversationally though, I think the point that she is at right now is normal, in terms of faulty grammar. I myself was an English as a Second Language student, and had to take extra classes in kindergarten and first grade to build my English skills. I think that with a little extra practice at home, and given that Mr. Worm doesn’t decide to pull off another one of his long-ass vacations again (which don’t do a whole lot of production anyway), Angela should be good to go on to the first grade next year.
The awkwardness: At the start of the meeting, we did all the introductions, Mr. Worm as dad, and me as “Aunt.” In the middle of the conversation, the psychologist asked me, And what role do you play in all this? I was dumbfounded at first, but Joanne came and saved the day and said, You just play mom for a while, while the situation is like this, right? I nodded. I must say I hate these situations. AWKWARD! And it always puts me in a glum mood for the rest of the day. 
NOTES
*This was because Mr. Worm had to return to Taiwan two times since September this school year for a total of about a month and a half, for “business”, and took the kids with him. I have to say that when he booked the tickets, I was against keeping the return flights as “open”, not only because that would not guarantee that the kids would come back in time for school, but also because I knew that since they would be in a different country, they would not be able to practice their English. Even when I packed up Angela’s homework in her luggage, I found out, much to my dismay, that nobody – not even her mother – thought of taking out the practice sheets for her while she was in Taiwan. And because kindergarten is a critical stage in building a strong foundation, lacking everyday practice for such a long period of time really does no good to her English skills.
** In fact, Alex, who is an August baby, was also retained for a year, so now he is practically at the top of his class. His reading skills, I must say, are exceptional.
***One very annoying thing is that up until now, both Mr. Worm and HTL have failed to talk to their kids about the separation. It is annoying because of two points: One, because I am in an awkward decision, and most of all two, because the kids will come and ask me why mommy won’t be coming back. And every time I bring this up to Mr. Worm and try to persuade him to talk to the kids, he will say, “Okay” without actually doing it, saying afterwards that he tried, but they just run off to do other things. To which I roll my eyes and say, you don’t just let them run off, you have to sit them down and talk to them about it. It might not be finalised, but I definitely think that they should know the basics. Alex is definitely old enough to know. In fact, he probably figured out most of it already! Nevertheless, it is still important that the parents take time to explain these things to them.
